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“We are want to condemn self-love; but what we really mean to condemn is contrary to self-love. It is that mixture of selfishness and self-hate that permanently pursues us, that prevents us from loving others, and that prohibits us from losing ourselves.” ~ Paul Valery, French Poet, 1871 - 1945

DR. LISA LOVE REFLECTIONS

As a counselor I have often told people that they need to learn to love themselves. Yet, while saying this to others, I have at times taken pause to reflect and ask myself, “What does that really mean? How do we know the difference between a self-love and a selfish love? And, what can we do practically to love ourselves in the right way?”

Perhaps the quote above holds a clue, because I believe true self love fills us with enough joy, peace, and love that our desire to be loving human beings grows. Because of this we want to express more empathy, compassion, and understanding towards others. Selfish love does the contrary. It increases our sense of self-loathing or our disdain and anger towards others.

It causes us to act increasingly in our own best interests without considering the interests of others. It causes us to want to sacrifice others needs and desires in service to our own, instead of the other way around. Or, it causes us to self-destruct through a number of behaviors that may feel good temporarily, but ultimately they lead to the shutting down of our hearts and spiral us downward into increased self-loathing and self-reproach.

How then do we love ourselves in the right way? By first and foremost learning what love is. Then, by insisting that we feed ourselves with that love. This is best done by finding people who know how to love. From them we learn how to adopt loving mindsets, feelings, and behaviors.

And, it is done by setting boundaries on people who don’t know how to encourage the greatest level of love in us. Because when we truly have that kind of love in our lives we are increasingly a blessing to others. Which is why real love requires that we love ourselves in the right way, so we can have the strength to love, the wisdom to love, and the energy to love those who need our love the most.

Blessings,

Dr. Lisa Love

Source : http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/why-real-love-requires-self-love-1416786.html

Are you looking for help when it comes to love? If this is what you are looking for, then here are some important things that might just be the one you need. A lot of people these days are looking for love especially those who are not as blessed as others are. Oftentimes, they tend to seek for a psychic love help to enlighten them with their needs when it comes to their love life. This can be of great help especially to those who already lost their hope.

A love reading oftentimes tells about the person special to you. This will be very helpful for you to know about the one you are eyeing for. A love physic help is also being used by a lot of people to get near to their special someone.

Opting for a psychic love reading doesn't necessarily mean that a person is ready for love but oftentimes, they just want to figure out where to find the right one for them. When you engaged in a psychic reading, you will be surprised with all the information available for you. Most of them will make you amaze that there are lots of possibilities available for you without your knowledge.

There are lots of ways to find the love of your life through psychic reading and some of them are free too. Oftentimes, the power of internet can do wonders especially to people who need it the most. A lot of them are offering chat and email psychic services to avail of free psychic reading.

A good and reliable psychic reader is not just good at love aspect of life but also anything that has to do with all the things happening in your life. Oftentimes, they provide everything you need to know regarding the person you love the most.

Source : www.articlesbase.com/new-age-articles/psychic-love-help-4187707.html

What have women got that men just can't stop going crazy over them? Is it because of love or lust? What makes those two diverge? At the early age of puberty, men feels fascinated to women. They have the penchant also to be attracted to older girls even at the age of 7. This is because older girls are a lot sexier and attractive. It looks they see their mother in older girls. Younger men feel pampered by older women. Older women tend to understand younger men more particularly in their mood. But as they grow older, men love women younger than them or at their age.

How can you actually define love or differentiate love from lust? Is it love that men felt when they spot a woman and feel something? Well I could declare that it would take time to finally conclude that what he or she feels is already that issue called love.

Love is past physical, it is something you can't touch. When you can forgive and forget what a person has caused you, then that is love.

Lust, on the other hand is still an feeling that is merely physical.This is linked with the feeling of craving a person sexually but oftentimes leads to Love and wanting to impart something beyond physical.

You can say you really love a person if in a longer span of time, you remain fascinated to him or her physically and later on turned into something sensitively distinctive.

Steps to draw men:

1) Fill up your love tank- love the people surrounding you, welcome their decency, love yourself. Men are more fascinated to women who illustrate that they are to be respected and valued. Friends can help particularly affectionate and wonderful friends. It will present in your well-being if you are full of love and when you are full of love, you can love others already.
2) Cook up Love - Be the master of the kitchen and attract your man through his stomach.
3) Be yourself - While men loves being pursued, most men still love to chase women. Shine in other things so he would perceive you; for example if he is a school mate then excel in the classroom. If he is a neighbor who doesn't even give a look, then start by giving the mother some new recipes to cook. Act as if he's not your goal and let him target you instead.

Men are born polygamous and they tend to glance elsewhere and this is extremely important when looking for a mate. We don't know for sure how to keep his attention unless of course if he really loves you that much not to consider hurting your feelings. You have to take the chance, for it might be precious in the end and anyway life is a risk you have to take and that incorporates loving someone.

Men have crabbiness too that need women to shut up so it is important to know the nature of men. Listen and don't nag but be sharp in studying the thin line that separates listening and enabling your partner to fool you. Solving troubles in a relationship is in the hands of a woman. It is hard for women to keep their men and keep them interested with them all the time.

Keep you man enthralled with you through these steps:

1) CREATE MOMENTS TOGETHER. Typically men do this; out of the blue men would propped a date in some passionate place just for two; a candlelight dinner, with a music in the background or may be a little bit offhand as just walking in Manila Bay at sunset, a picnic at the Park or in the Zoo, for those of smaller budget, but whatever it is what is important is that you make some moments together, because that is what life is all about.

2) Share your dreams and aspirations to your loved one. Your relationship does not consist of you alone so when it comes to your thoughts and aspirations, see if it fits with his. How close or far apart, similar or conflicting are your dreams and his dreams, then you'll know if you are to go on this relationship or not. Never give up a dream just to satisfy your partner's emotional insecurities as this will be the cause of the potential breakdown of your relationship in the end.

3) DON'T NAG. Learn to listen to your partner's side and don't be a faultfinder. Your relationship must have trust in order to have future. Nurture and win trust instead of abusing it.

4) Be a friend first and became lovers later on. Lovers should only be second from friendship to make it continue longer.

Women fascinates men who knows how to handle themselves. Women that can encourage and comfort a man in times of sorrow.In a relationship, man should not be the only one who's strong. In fact, when it comes to feelings, women are stronger. That is fairly obvious. For more advices how to deal with men or women relationship visit http://women-men-love.info they sure have lots of thoughts to ascertain from.

Source : www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/why-do-men-love-women-3160687.html